By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
