Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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