So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
