Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
