how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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