I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
