let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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