i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
