please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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