If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
