it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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