Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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