I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
