remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
