I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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