Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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