lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
