Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
