I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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