Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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