that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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