thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
FUCK WHALES
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
