"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
