another moral hangover. fuck.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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