I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
