i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
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just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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