Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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