this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
