ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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