Say something about gay babies.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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