Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
