U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
A bitchslap is in order.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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