your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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