If i come over, it means nothing
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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