someone threw a dead crab at me
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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