Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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