ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
