And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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