I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
