just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
