We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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