Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
