Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize