The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on