So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.