Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.