what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Enjoy the penises