it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?