Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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