How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
