the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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