He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
there is glitter all over my balls
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
