im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
