I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
