garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
