This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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