After last night, I could never be a politician.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize