So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
