Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found a bag of teeth...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
