Whod you bang
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
