I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
