Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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