Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
