guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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