Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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