did you get engaged???
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
