I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
