well you can't waste a boner
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
