Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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