am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize
