i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Text me some of your sweat
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