I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
