he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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