I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
